In the News: Bye Bye Roseanne Wednesday, Jun 20 2007 

Roseanne Barr’s radio show has just been canceled after being on the air for only three months.

It is surprising that this happened, considering I didn’t ruin her radio show like I ruined her short lived talk show.

In the News: R Kelly = MLK? Thursday, May 17 2007 

In a recent interview, alleged child porn maker R. Kelly said that “I’m the Ali of today. I’m the Marvin Gaye of today. I’m the Bob Marley of today. I’m the Martin Luther King, or all the other greats that have come before us. And a lot of people are starting to realize that now.”

Smartly,  Kelly didn’t include that he is the “Michael Jackson of today” in the interview.

In the News: Not Down with Downs Wednesday, Nov 8 2006 

A little league softball coach was convicted for paying one of his players throw a ball at an autistic and mildly retarded kid.

He wanted the 8-year-old autistic kid to get hurt and not be able to play in his baseball games.

My speculation is that the coach, who’s name is Mark Downs, did this in retaliation for all the Downs Syndrome Jokes he had to hear growing up.

In the News: Too Soon About Saddam? Monday, Nov 6 2006 

Saddam Hussein is appealing his death penalty sentence to be hung.

Today, Tommy Lee responded by saying, “Trust me, it’s really not that bad bro.”

In the News: Ohh Girlfrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiend! Monday, Jul 17 2006 

Oprah says that her relationship with her friend Gayle King isn’t a gay a relationship.

But, she says that, “Something about this relationship feels otherworldly to me, like it was designed by a power and a hand greater than my own. Whatever this friendship is, it’s been a very fun ride.”

Oprah then went on to say that, “OK fine, maybe we are gay.”

In the News: A Hero’s Struggle Friday, Jul 14 2006 

Brandon Routh, the new Superman, complained that his makeup in a recent press conference made him look “wimpy”

I have some advice to look a little more manly.

How about you put your tights back on (keep the little to no buldge,) put back on your knee high boots, wear the cape, and put the little curl back on your forehead.

Cause those things wouldn’t make anyone question someone’s manhood.

In the News: Fun with Nouns! Wednesday, Jun 28 2006 

The Oxford dictionary says that the word “time” is the most common noun in the English Language.

This study only still proves how few of us Jews there are in the world…

…because the word “money” is not even in the top 25.

In the News: Safety First Monday, Jun 26 2006 

A huge asteroid is going to fly past the Earth on July 3rd.

There is absolutly no need to worry though…

Officials have already made plans for the typical security checks of making it remove its sweatshirt, shoes, and to only bring a maximum of 2 carry on items (that will be heavily scanned through metal detectors)

In the News: The J-Lodown Monday, Jun 19 2006 

One of the two men who allegedly tried to sell the Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony marriage tape to the newly married couple was arrested a few days ago.

Lopez and Anthony denied the offer, which would have cost them 1 million dollars.

I guess it would have been pretty ironic though if Lopez PAID 1 million dollars for a movie she starred in, when she couldn’t even make that much from movies like Gigli, Jersey Girl, and Maid in Manhatten.

In the News: A Little Cause Wednesday, Jun 14 2006 

AIDS used to be THE Cause among many celebrities, but lately celebrities have turned their attention to other causes like breast cancer, hurricane relief, and African debt relief.

One of the biggest and most rapid causes getting attention though is the Stop-The-Wayans-Brothers-From-Making-More-Movies Foundation.

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