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A guide to “Mike’s Guide”
When Al Gore created the internet, I am quite sure his intent wasn’t for the net to be filled with porn, facebook, porn, and more porn. However, that is exactly what the internet has become. It is a place for dirty images, dirty video, and lists of 25 things that nobody gives a shit about. The state of the internet is at a grave point good readers, but fear not, you have now truly entered a new world of Change.
That’s right. Mike’s Guide to Life is here on the internet, to guide you through all facets of life you may encounter. Each and every Thursday, I will be here for you with a new topic on life and a new article to keep your life on track.
Breathe. I’m here for you. We’re going to get through this “life” thing together, one article at a time.
You’ll notice a few things about this website already. One, is that there are 20 or so articles already posted here. If you’re new to Mike’s Guide to Life… then God help you. But really, if you are new, your life likely is in more disarray than you ever could have known. Deep breath. Go back and read those articles that were originally written for Cal Poly San Luis Obispo’s The Mustang Daily. It was a few years ago that I wrote those, but much of the lessons taught in those articles still hold up today.
On the subject of those past articles, since they were written for a newspaper, I had editors. With editors, they decided to “fix my horrible grammar skills” or “censor language that they didn’t seem fit” or “tell me, ‘Mike, you are a racist.” Those days are over though, as the language, subjects, and grammar are likely to all be entirely incorrect in many ways. Seriously though, get an oxygen mask or respirator or something, because everything will be OK.
I will teach. You will learn. Your life will be instantly better.
Here is another thing to keep of note. Mainly, you’ll notice here (1) that I have what I’ll call “paragraph notes” instead of footnotes. Since I care about you and don’t want you to scroll up and down the page over and over again, I will use these paragraph notes for details that don’t normally fit within the text of these articles. So, like if I said something true like, “I’m sitting here typing this in bed, like I type most my articles half naked (2),” the paragraph note will explain certain things further.
(1) Here.
(2) I’ll let you guess/think about/dream about which half.
Another big difference between writing for a newspaper and writing for the internet, is now you have the power to share this guidance with all your friends. As shameless as this sounds, click the share button and post on facebook or digg, email articles, subscribe to the feed of these articles. Basically, love these articles and they will love you back. (3)
(3) In a totally hetero kind of way. Sorry fellas. Hello ladies.
My reader, that does it for this article. You, and the rest of the internet are about to experience what life is all about and the true reason the information superhighway is here, one article at a time.
In Gore (4) We Trust.
(4) and Mike Heimowitz
